In my humble opinion: Power of Empathy

Collapsing economy and global unrest: What we need today is empathy - the ability to re-create another person’s perspective, to experience the world from the other’s point of view.

It may be impossible to ever experience another’s perspective completely, but with enough effort we can certainly gain a better idea of how the world appears to him/her.

Empathy involves three dimensions – perspective taking, emotional dimension, and genuine concern.

The need of the day is empathy, which is very important in our personal and also in our professional lives.

We all experience environments, situations that are tough master: teaching us lessons the hard way, but in the end train us to be more analytical, adaptive and assertive, all at the same time.

All I can say for sure is that I have learnt the fact that every situation is unique and that we have to pick our battles wisely.

Studies show that there are four ways to deal with a situation - “I’m Right, You’re Wrong,” approach “You’re Right, I’m Wrong” approach, “Both Right, Both Wrong” approach and “The Issue Isn’t As Important As It Seems” approach.

No one knows which approach works best or if there is a certain combination that may work best.

As a matter of fact there is a fair amount of truth in all four perspectives the only thing that is required is a bit of coordination and a lot of empathy.

We need to connect beyond the social, economic and political spheres and the only way we can do that is if we re-create another person’s perspective, to experience the world from the other’s point of view.

Fairytale News Story

FROM RUGS TO RICHES...

Our charming prince of Fairy Land finally found the love of his life, the girl who he has been looking for - the right fit to the glass slipper.

The mystery girl is Cinderella, an orphan from the outskirts of Fairy Land.

After an intensive nation wide search the prince’s guards found her in her family’s backyard, working like a slave.

This all began at the country ball last month where the prince met her, dressed like a princess decked in jewels and pearls from head to toe.

Our prince was so mesmerized by her beauty that he danced all night with her, and forgot to ask her name.

The mystery girl left at the strike of midnight and all there was to go after was her glass slipper that she left behind.

Cinderella's mother passed away when she was just a baby and now she lives with her stepmother and two stepsisters.

“We have never seen this girl before,” commented most of the neighbors and others thought that Cinderella is the maid of the house because they say, "She's always running around the house in rugs and dirty clothes, doing all the household chores."

When the guards arrived at Cinderella’s door, her sisters tried every trick to fit in that slipper but in vain.

This was the last house left to find the mystery love of our prince.

Was very disappointing not to find the love of prince's life and made the Fairy Land sad.

No one mentioned Cinderella, until one of the guards say this girl in rugs washing the stone walls of the house.

Since this was the last house left, the guard thought - might as well as this girl to try.

The gathered crowd made mocked and made fun as the guard asked her to try the slipper on.

But, "God works in his own ways."

Not only did Cinderella’s foot slip easily into that slipper but she also had the other one safe.

Our prince's happiness has no bounds...

Down he went on his knees and slipped the ring on his love's finger.

Cinderella thanked her fairy Godmother for her blessings and how she granted her wish to go the ball, while her stepmother and stepsisters made fun of her and left her behind.

Cinderella’s fairy Godmother turned a pumpkin into a coach, rats into the coachmen and changed her rags into the most beautiful dress.

But her magic was to last till midnight only, and that’s when Cinderella ran from the ball leaving her slipper behind as she ran breathlessly.

Cinderella is the envy of the town today.

She has a heart of gold - for all that her stepmother and stepsisters did to her, she decided to forgive them and live with her prince charming happily ever after.

This is indeed a match made in heaven and blessed by the angels.

A visit to the Japanese Internment Memorial, San Jose CA

The Japanese Internment Memorial is a remorseful reminder of the sad events that followed the attack on Pearl Harbor in 1941, when approximately 110,000 Japanese and Japanese Americans were relocated to seclusion camps/areas or confinement.

Ruth Asawa, sculptor and designer of the Japanese Internment Memorial in San Jose CA was one of those who were detained and relocated to one of these confinements in 1942.

One can feel her pain and anguish which is very evident in her detailed and elaborate vignettes that adorn the place.

Each vignette cries out loud of suffering, a unique story, a cry, a sulk that went unheard and unanswered.

The barbed wires, inhuman living conditions, people flocked like herds - all are sad tales of fear and suppression that prevailed, and the atrocity is that innocent people lived through it day in and day out.

Everyone, including innocent kids became part of this ordeal – confined, rather imprisoned in despair and indefinitely.

A seemingly never-ending torture for reasons best known to the ones who were far from this painful reality.

As I moved from one vignette to the next, a strange sadness gripped me and I felt like touching them but was scared as if touching might overpower me and that it may actually suck me.

When just looking at it can stir such deep emotions then I really wonder what it must have been to live through a life of fear and animosity.

Each vignette compelled me to ponder upon the question as to how can one human do this to another human.

What can actually transpose us and overcome the compassion and basic instincts of inherent intelligence.

And these questions still resonates in my mind when I sit down in silence to think about what I say at the Memorial.

Can an apology ease the pain or erase the memories and bring back normalcy in the minds and hearts of the people or generations that lived through the horror.

Human history has already been tarnished by this event and events like these but we must learn from our mistakes and let our actions demonstrate our apology.

I guess the Japanese Internment Memorial should be set as a reminder of what we have learnt from this experience and a promise in our heart that such a thing shall never be repeated – not here and not anywhere.

Word of the week (11): Rendition.

Rendition (noun): Interpretation.

Heard it on a talk show.

The technological evolution of the Internet and attitude of the users calls for a fresh rendition of our constitutional right to freedom of expression.

Word of the week (10): Quietus.

Quietus (noun): A silencing, suppressing, or ending.

Came across it while searching for a synonym for suppression.

The Occupy Wall Street movement is not likely to succumb to the government’s attempts to quietus it.

Word of the week (9): Acrimonious

Acrimonious (adj): Full of bitterness.

My friend used it during our conversation.

My friend’s messy divorce has left her acrimonious towards her husband and men at large.

Word of the week (8): Eviscerated

Eviscerated (verb): to remove the entrails from; to deprive of vital or essential parts.

Read it in the newspaper.

Freedom of press is important in order to ensure that we, the people are not eviscerated of facts that in turn help us build an effective democracy.

In my humble opinion: Only a magical wand can save our economy.

As much as I would hope for some magical wand to just turn the current situation but realistically speaking I fail to see a silver lining, at least not in the near future.

When the people who have the power to do something fail to do anything except sweet talk us all and feed us with more talk every day, then we can only pray for some miracle to happen or for some magical wand.

The current recession has shaken up the consumer confidence.

It is amazing how our attitude has changed from a hope for our economy to turn around to a hope that it does not slide or slip any further.

It sure shows how we are hopelessly heading into the realm of hopelessness.

At times I wonder why something is not being done about it and it does not take me too long to realize that the people who are actually in a position to do the needful are high up there where the pinch of recession and unemployment do not touch.

It’s easy sitting in an office and talk about laws and fighting back to reintroduce the bills but it’s another story to sit there wondering how to put the next meal on the table.

Everything is a political fight up there but for an average person it’s a fight for survival.

Representation of the masses is failing to look after our interest and the power needs to shift back in the hands of the masses.

I am an optimist person and would like to look for an optimist side in every situation – when the going gets though, the though get tougher.

Therefore on a brighter note may be its time now to overhaul the system and introduce and implement some strategies that will take us on the path to economic growth and sustainability.

Word of the week (7): Rambunctious

Rambunctious (adj): difficult to control or handle; wildly boisterous.

While reviewing Morse v. Frederick case.

Additional security was called in to control the rambunctious crowd protesting on the Brooklyn Bridge.

Word of the week (6): Pernicious

Pernicious (adj): causing insidious harm or ruin; ruinous; injurious; hurtful.

An online article used this word.

Cyber security is always at threat due to some pernicious viruses.

Mystery Character: "Stay hungry, Stay foolish."

Tall composed stature in blue jeans and black turtle neck, pacing on the stage.

Blessed with a great nag for story telling. Known for his perfectionism, passion for design and aesthetic sense.

A visionary and brave innovator who could dare to dream and think out of the box.

Man with a vision to change the world.

An apple of technology's eye.

Courtesy: Stanford University

Word of the week (5): Calumniate

Calumniate (verb): to make false and malicious statements about; slander.

During research for a synonym for the word, “slander.”

It is rather unfortunate to see some honorable politicians sometimes resort to calumniation for political fame.

Word of the week (4): Equanimity

Equanimity (noun): mental or emotional stability or composure, esp. under tension or strain.

Commonly used word by my Dad.

It would help to maintain our equanimity through these turbulent economic times.

Word of the week (3): Surreptitious

Surreptitious (adj): obtained, done, made, etc., by stealth; secret or unauthorized.

Came across this word while playing a game of synonyms, where we research for new words.

Bill’s surreptitious affair lead to the impeachment action against him.

My favorite writings...

Imagine growing up in a family where your morning begins with prayers and meditation. As a kid maybe you don’t know what you are doing but as you grow up you don’t know how else to do it. I guess all I am trying to say is that you grow into it and this routine becomes part of who you are.

I grew up in an environment where philosophical and spiritual discussions have been an integral part of our life, but little did I know that what was being discussed around the kitchen table, by the fire place and circled around the bonfires in our backyard, constitutes to be spiritual or philosophical.

For me these were just discussions that probably every family has. All that I knew and understood then was that I was being a part of my family or a group discussion that sometimes intrigued me and at other times I felt totally lost.

Guess sometimes some things, attitudes or beliefs form a vital part of our existence and our environment, such that we don’t even realize that what we are growing up doing is actually a form of formal study.

As I was growing up, I really started to enjoy reading philosophical and spiritual text. I say text because sometimes what may appear as a few lines or a phrase may hold the essence of a deeper meaning/thought. Where the interpretation of that text holds the key to getting to the depth of the words just like the beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

Over the years I have grown fond of reading about a branch of philosophy called ethics. It’s interesting to know that ethics is by no means a plain and simple distinction between the right and the wrong. It’s more than just black and white.

As a matter of fact there exist so many different theories and thoughts that define and establish the benchmark for human actions – what’s moral and how our actions should follow.

A renowned philosopher and one of the most prominent defender of Utilitarianism, John Stuart Mill’s writings have had a profound impact on me.

His philosophical theory of Utilitarianism defines the basic moral principle ought to be the one that promotes the greatest happiness of the maximum number of people.

He very interestingly equates happiness with pleasure, which makes one look at his theory as having a hedonistic value. But as I read and analyze his work in depth, I began to differ on the hedonistic view because Mill talks about pleasure for all and not just pleasure in a selfish way.

With the way we are heading in the direction of “The World House” and globalization, I think his philosophical approach is more in tune with our lives today.

Over the years I have felt that philosophy and spirituality are overlapping concepts in many ways than one. This is very true in my life at least, where at times it is hard to draw a fine distinguishing line between the two.

Not too sure if one leads to the other stream of though or study but there definitely is an undercurrent or a union of some sort, where they blend and compliment each other.

Where philosophical readings give me food for my thoughts and help as a guide towards exploring, developing and enhancing my virtues and recognizing the virtues of people around me.

On the other hand spiritual readings are a reason and force behind my sustenance and endurance.

When I picked up my first spiritually motivational book, Change you thoughts – Change your life by Dr. Wayne Dyer, little did I realize that I will end up having a collection of all his books and reading those over and over again.

Dr. Dyer’s writings have helped me evolve as a person. His writings are a combination of philosophy and spiritualism. He motivates and encourages you to knock the door from inside in order to see the light outside and to seek the answers. In other words, open your heart to find the joy that you seek.

What was a piece of reading initially turns out to be my life style now.On one of the talk shows, he recited a poem that stirred a lot of hidden emotions in me and I would like to share the same with you:

The Cookie Thief

by Valerie Cox

A woman was waiting at an airport one night,
With several long hours before her flight.
She hunted for a book in the airport shops.
Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop.

She was engrossed in her book but happened to see,
That the man sitting beside her, as bold as could be.
Grabbed a cookie or two from the bag in between,
Which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene.

So she munched the cookies and watched the clock,
As the gutsy cookie thief diminished her stock.
She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by,
Thinking, "If I wasn't so nice, I would blacken his eye."

With each cookie she took, he took one too,
When only one was left, she wondered what he would do.
With a smile on his face, and a nervous laugh,
He took the last cookie and broke it in half.

He offered her half, as he ate the other,
She snatched it from him and thought... oooh, brother.
This guy has some nerve and he's also rude,
Why he didn't even show any gratitude!

She had never known when she had been so galled,
And sighed with relief when her flight was called.
She gathered her belongings and headed to the gate,
Refusing to look back at the thieving ingrate.

She boarded the plane, and sank in her seat,
Then she sought her book, which was almost complete.
As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise,
There was her bag of cookies, in front of her eyes.

If mine are here, she moaned in despair,
The others were his, and he tried to share.
Too late to apologize, she realized with grief,
That she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief.

How many times in our lives,
have we absolutely known
that something was a certain way,
only to discover later that
what we believed to be true ... was not?

Word of the week (2): Serendipity

Serendipity (noun): an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident.

One of my communications professor uses this word frequently and it’s very interesting when she uses it in context with life.

The renowned scientist, Albert Einstein’s Theory of Relativity is a classic example of serendipity when he accidentally stumbled upon the most important scientific equation of all times.

Word of the week (1): Quiescent

Quiescent (adj): "marked by inactivity or repose."

Read it on a discount flyer for some kind of frozen food.

The demonstrators protested in a quiescent way as they walked down the main street.

All about me...

"Follow your dreams...," is what comes to my mind when I stop to ask the question, what am I doing here?

Can you imagine spending years of your life doing what you may be good at but not really enjoying what you do, but you got to do it anyways because you have a make sure that there's bread on the table for the ones you love.

Because the ones you love have dreams and then it becomes your dream to make sure that their dreams come true. And that leaves no room for your own dreams anymore as if your own dreams seize to exist.

Guess that’s what family is all about – not only do you live together (at heart) but you also live for each other.

We often think we have the option to choose life that we desire but sometimes the tables turn and sooner than later we wake up to the realization that life chose you instead.

And that’s exactly how I felt. All of a sudden I had stepped into the shoes that were much bigger and I had miles to go with no option whatsoever to turn back or give up.

I spent almost seven years of my life working hard as an analyst and taking care of my family, making sure that my siblings get the best education and my parents get the medical attention that they need.

And, while doing all of this there was one more thing that I never stopped doing: keeping a dream to be a filmmaker alive but hidden somewhere deep within me. It was too painful to keep dreaming of it and equally hard to totally let go of it all together.

After a long wait, finally…

Now that my brother is a qualified engineer and there to share the responsibilities with me, I am finally able to dare to dream with my eyes open and dare to spread my wings and fly.

I know that the path ahead of me is long and full of challenges but then I guess, "no pain, no gain."

Keeping my fingers crossed close to my heart…